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amazing

September 22, 2012

it is amazing to me. people look at my hair, my face, my body shape, but they never reallly see me. they are too busy comprehending what they see, and fail to really see who i am.

of course there are people who do really see me. people i interact with and know on a regular basis. people i meet who are able to see past the outside appearances and there are quite a few.

i am looking for the real connection. i am looking for the beyond what you see connection. i am looking for the beyond who you think i am connection. i am looking for the beyond who you think you are connection.

last night i woke up around 330am. i went to  sleep too early, but i was tired. i did some yoga stretches, and drank some water. i decided to go outside and see what the night was up to.

there was a neighbor, who i had seen at least 3 times in the passing day. it was so fun, and funny to see him again. we dont interact a whole lot, but we do from time to time. we are knowing one another slowly. it was misting rain and the air smelled wonderful to me. a welcome from the dryness of the summer.

he was on his phone, doing whatever as most people do these days.

so it was 330am, i was outside, and so was he. we exchanged greetings and commented on the weather. just regular conversation. i was marveling at an apt window that was visible across the street that had, what looked like a buck head on the wall and it looked like it was staring out the window. i looked at it from different angles. it was kind of interesing and creepy at the same time. it looked like it was looking out the window.

anyway, my neighbor went inside and came outside again. i was still standing out by the street. i decided to go inside. i said goodnight. as i said this, i thought, well it really is morining. my neighbor said, i guess it really is good morning. i laughed and said i had just been thinking of this. he said that he usually works at this time. he said he had gone to sleep early and awoke and could not sleep. he said it was his day off. i said, well then this is your clock. i went inside.

life can be simple. just random, simple interactions with people. people who are just regular people, living in the same apartment building. no agendas. my neighbor sees me at my best looking self and at my not so best looking self and it does not matter. my neighbor is not looking to gain anything from interacting with me. and the same things transfer back. it is just about interacting anc being with one another. even it is 330am and i just woke up looking like i just woke up and he woke up looking like he just woke up.

this is what is real to me. and to yall who care about this stuff, and i admit, i do gussy up for work and just for fun, it is not what is really important. what is important is seeing beyond all of that.

just thinking.

peace

jill

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2 Comments
  1. You have a beautiful inside and that is what is important.

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