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RE wiring

October 6, 2012

the wake

i had the experience today, of going back, automatically to a place that did not exist for me anymore.

my work office changed to a new location this past week. today, after my travels, seeing people in their homes, i automatically returned to the place where my office used to be. as i arrived, i noticed that this, was not my office. and so i laughed, restarted my car, and was on my way.

it seems like this happens as well, in changing. it is easy, almost automatic, to return to people and places that used to have meaning, but really dont anymore.

i am not sure why it happens, but it does.

for me, it takes a conscious effort to know where i have been and where i want to go. the past is not someplace where i want to be, with you or with me. and in the consciousness of thought and mind comes the rewiring.

it is not necessary to go into the past to create the future, in my mind.

in my mind, it is necessary to remember, make peace with, and release the past, in order to be in the present and  go into the future.

this may entail a letting go of ideas, people, situations, events, that in the past have been a source of healing, joy, sadness and anger. it seems that for me, being in the present, means being conscious of the decisions i am making now. automatic pilot is not an option.

in the letting go, comes the rewiring.

automatic pilot creates the same wiring over and over again. just like when people i know tell the same story, over and over again. there is no opportunity to be in the present, if one is busy living in the past.

that is not to say, that i do not remember. because i have memory and mind like a steel trap. i remember everything. the trick for me, is awareness of this gift i have. i can put it to good use in my work.

in my personal life, the trick, is not to go there anymore with people, events or situations that have not been healing or true for me. i do not need to relive the past or create in the present with these people, events or situations. mostly because i believe that none of this can change. and this has been my experience.

and i can not be as i was in the past. because of my ongoing experiences, i am changing constantly. so the person i was yesterday, is not the same person i am today. i am constantly rewiring, because i choose this. my essence remains, unchanged.

and so this is my learning curve these days. to be conscious in all moments. for being conscious in all moments and choosing in these moments is how i am rewiring. i am creating my future.

peace,

jill

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