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gratitude

December 31, 2012

it seems appropriate to write about this tonite, 4 hours after landing on the mainland.

i was on vacation in oahu with my sons, and, a woman, my son’s gal, who is part of my family. tonite we all returned from an adventure. each with our own interpretation and experience. for me it  has been wonderfilled; a learning experience about myself and my family and also it was great fun and frolic.

this happened sort of as a dream, confirmed by a song on the radio. random at best. sometimes great things are born of randomness.

this year has been one of great change for me. part of the change involved me letting go of people, situations and experiences that i once knew. i knew them, well, sort of, but it was not really something that filled me up.

once i let go, and, it took a few months (well actually more with respects to some), there was a void. the void, the place of nothing and everything, the place of birth and creation. hard to sit with it sometimes. but i was determined, and resigned at the same time.

after the void, comes the birth. or maybe in the void, comes the birth.

THIS YEAR,

i created a blog. i have written poems and articles that have been posted in an online magazine.  i have always written but not much posted or shared.

i began painting again after many years. i began creating with photography. i began sharing both posted.

i continued to create aromatherapy blends and variations, tested on self and shared with some.

i continued to dive deep in to the meaning of healing, for me only.

i decided, i wanted to change my working arrangements, and a situation became available, to make this a reality.

i decided i wanted to make thanksgiving with my family of origin, in the region. i was able to make this reality, cocreating.

i decided i wanted to go on vacation by myself to hawaii. i decided, i wanted to go on vacation with my close family.  all of this has come to fruition.

i am grateful for a year of great awareness, and change. closing doors and doors opening.

in review for 2012, some of the important words and phrases, for me, either spoken to myself or written and remembered…

yes/no, good luck, power, take me off your list, trust, grateful, epic, you get to choose and so do i, self determination, moving forward, vacation, courage, a different way of doing things, i’m with you on this, i support you, i love you jill, i deserve better, teacher, student, i am the teacher, i am the student, creating, he/she “saw” me, family, consciously disassociating myself from people who do harm and those who continue to associate with people as such, invisible, oblivion, grateful for the experience,  the way people do business, i dont care if you like me, structure, form(s), institutions, dreams, new ventures and people, what is healing…

and so i am grateful for all of my teachers and ancestors for guiding me. i am grateful for the people i meet and interact with, in my daily life as true teachers in the present. i am grateful for my intuition as a teacher.

this year has been epic and i look forward to the continuing momentum as i go with ease into the new year and flow with grace.

may we all go with ease, and flow with grace.

cheers

jill

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