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September 8, 2013

I have not been writing  here, lately. but the time seems ripe. trying to reconcile the culture as it is, in relation to women. 

stories abound about violence against whatever form, rape, misogyny, posted videos, death threats for even speaking at home, in public or on social media. and in the mix is my own personal experience around  abuse, being silenced. being told that “this is just the way it is” by individuals and leaders of groups I used to belong to, and have disconnected from,  because of their response to my comments about these kinds of behaviors.

there is a problem and it is not mine.  I will not own having to respond to behaviors I never asked for.  I will not own having to defend myself, because you cant control yourself.  I will not act small so you can feel bigger. i will not “shut up” or “stop”. i will not shrink so you can take up space that is actually MINE, and I will no longer participate in activities or relationships that support behavior that is adverse to women’s health and well being. I don’t feel sorry for you.

I have, through the years, been tolerant of some people because they did the doublespeak thing. I call it mindfuck, that being, “oh I understand, but I cant do anything about it” or “I understand” and that is it. and then there are the excuses, “you just don’t understand”.   well, YOU don’t understand, otherwise you would not stand idly by and allow this to happen time and time again.

national and local policies are being made for women, without consent, in public chambers, and  behind closed door, consistent with the behaviors in a culture that does not value women. 

I will say  without women, culture and life as the culture knows it, will not exist. beat us, kill us off, imprison us for no reason other than saying “NO”, kidnap us,  take away our rights as beings and see what is left. think about it.

and I will say, also, we have come a long way and we will never go back and that we are mad as hell and not going to take it anymore.  and we are reclaiming our health and wellbeing, creating connections, supports, laws, and ways of being that will support us through these times.

sure, I have men in my life that are  truly, supportive and don’t do the mansplain thing. but they are few and far between.  step up to the plate, brothers.




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