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healing as a mystery

April 13, 2015

dark ocean

I tend to think of healing as a mystery.  each time, healing comes up for me in the physical or emotional, what helps is as different as the moments themselves. I have educated myself in a variety of healing modalities, so when each moment comes, I have resources to draw upon.

I woke up in the early morning hours today.  I had been healing, what I thought was physical since Friday evening, though, I was not quite sure. I woke up and was not sure why.  so I decided to check in with my chakras, those energy/electricity centers of our bodies, that I think the outer to inner, or vice versa.

I went to the place that I felt needed attention first. my throat was really sore, I mean really sore, and this does not happen often. it had been sore earlier, but not like this.  so I decided to use reiki.  I did not think I needed the hand placement, only the healing words and visualizing the healing symbols.  it was remarkable that after some moments, my throat felt so much better. in fact, it does not hurt anymore.

I proceeded down to my heart  center and when I checked in, I felt like my chest was in a vice of sorts.  so again I used the reiki as above.  I started to cough, not uncontrollably, but effectively. I then went down into the solar plexus area, next my belly,  then my foundation place. my body felt more fluid and less contained. I decided to go from my base foundation to my third eye place then my crown. my body felt connected, open and relaxed.

I can say that though my throat does feel better, It may come around again. you see, my  experience using my voice , in the past as well as on occasion has been met by some, I thought as important in my life, with criticism, advice, name calling, total dismissal and denial of what my voice was trying to say or as not important in conversation, because the other seemed to have no respect for my voice, only their own.

I really did not sleep much after that, but it did not seem to matter, since I had slept from Friday evening until 2pm Saturday, again that night, a nap on sunday, so I guess I was good on that front.

I try and take care of myself and so when something comes up I always wonder why?  sometimes, I get so involved in helping others that I tend not to notice how I am feeling over time. I think, sometimes the emotional gets into the physical as well.

I think, there is  a tendency of people who help others daily. the tendency to not notice self, due to noticing outwardly and caregiving.  I have a friend, that is currently in the process of healing years of doing this because this was the expectation. it is a long process and diligence is required to change patterns developed when young.

I do think for many women that this is an expectation ingrained in childhood. girls are supposed to help others, be caregivers but little attention is paid teaching girls to care for themselves both physically and emotionally. it is a constant practice for me to be aware of this pattern, that I learned when I was young too. but I do the best I can, and support others who are going on this road with me.  it can be cloudy and stormy, at times, but I know that storms move on.

peace

addemdum..people, mostly women in caregiving postitions are rewarded by only words for going beyond their boundaries, in some work environments,  like kudos to you for not respecting your life. I don’t do it, but I see it daily.

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