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embracing ones inner crone

April 20, 2015


flip flopping for years and thinking about this.

women are wise in their elder years, even mid years leading to the elder years. there is no definition in terms of age here.

I think women become, when they do.

I am thinking I am here now, in this.  and I am looking at models.

where I live, there are certain models. women who embrace their years and all that goes along with it, silver hair, a change of lifestyle, a change as in terms of looking through new eyes.

the old models I have seen, tend to not embrace their years, and try and stay as young as possible on the outside. plastic surgery, hair color, dressing their bodies as in youth and generally ignoring their life path.

society and culture have a great voice to some women as they age. men, not so much though I know some who want to be young forever too and do anything to make their outside look as if.

it seems so tiresome, to continually try and fit a model that was and is no longer. I just want to be me, now.

in my youth, I recall seeing an elder woman with white hair, in a miniskirt and white gogo  boots and thinking to myself, what is she thinking? and I will never be like this.

well, I am moving in a new direction that is me. I let my hair go without color, the first time since I was a teen. I had to see for myself, what color my hair actually is. it has been a freeing experience. some people comment, mostly women who are there, and others don’t. I have noticed the way people respond to me in my original self. it actually can be different than if I did use hair color for some. they are the ones I don’t want to invite into my sphere or conversate with, because, for them, it is all about appearance.

the truth for me is, that I have always invited all into my experience, regardless of looks and some people just are into that  as their only truth.

do I like to play with my haircolor? yes, but for me. now I made my hair with some gold tinges to complement the silver. do I like to dress in a fun and original fashion? yes, but I am not looking to anyone as a model, and come to think of it, in terms of this I never have.

am I wise? yes, and I use my wisdom to listen to what is being said vs being someone who gives advice. I use my wisdom, to relate my past experiences, as people relate their current ones to me in a conversation. I still have much to learn. a wise person knows they don’t know everything and can learn from anyone or situation.

am I trying to attract relationships? no, because my life is full and I am not needy.

I am embracing this part of my life, because it is a beautiful part of life. I already did youth, thank you very much.



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