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confronting my mortality and the game

May 20, 2015

recently, thinking about the future. I usually don’t these days though, I have in the past having children and wanting to have their needs met and wanting to be there for them

now, it is different. my children have flown the coop, though still bonded and I get to think about myself and what I want. in this is the past notion of safety and security, the present notion and the future notion.

some people are planners. they plan out their lives, like in maps. in my work, I have learned that one can plan till the cows come home, but there are things that happen that one cannot plan. hospice has taught me, life is precious NOW. I have had people tell me “don’t wait for the golden years” and “don’t save your money because it will be worth nothing” and more, in my work.

so I feel like I am living in an in between world.

financial planners say thus and such as has my family of origin. like planning for “retirement”.  like a financial planner said I would need hundreds of thousands of dollars to retire…LOL   it is too weird, living the lifestyle I do, simple, and knowing the people and community, that support me, as I support them. I feel like I am retired now, because I work part time and at times can choose to work more, I give away and receive, I trade. I ENJOY life NOW.

I am not waiting for some magical retirement game as has it always has been for mostly people who have money, now. that game is gone, I think for the majority of the population. there are options.

I was talking with a friend today who was also confronting these notions as in the present society and culture and she expressed some fear about “not having enough money”.

I choose not to go into the not having enough mode, which is why I have difficulty interacting with this game. but at the same time, it is intriguing to explore it.

I know the retirement “game” and I certainly know about mortality. not waiting to enjoy life, I am “retired” now, in my mind and in my life. I take vacations, spend money on my loved ones and with them and do the things I want to do in life.

I guess I am creating a new game for myself. I think because if the world ends tomorrow, and one never knows, what does saving for retirement or money mean?



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