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disorientation

February 8, 2017

the desert
a big change of scenery
for me
in terms of culture
society
and geography
losing direction
the geography defined
by mountains on all sides
in all directions
it is all unknown to me
I am told to go west
but where is west
in terms of land markers
I am told to go south
in terms of
I don’t know
locals seem at ease
with this
the roads are divided by barriers
as traffic lanes
for me it meant a lot of
u turns
just because one can turn left
on a street is
is defined by a barrier
and no I cannot go
as I like
there is no grid
there are few signs
and if there are signs
they are small
I did become disoriented
where I live there is some kind
of grid or sense of
direction in terms of
the mountains on the east side
and the mountains west
the river on the north and on the west
side
in the desert I
just had to pray and go
with my intuition
when I thought to
I got lost a lot
and made a lot of u turns
though in this
I retrieved
my internal compass
like I am driving
on a google maps
defined route
that has turned out not
to be real
I turn off the on the exit
that seems real
but not the road
on the map
it actually brings
me to the road I was looking for
I found the place
I was seeking
not by outside
information
but by listening to
my internal compass
grateful to witness
this process in me
and yes outside information
just confuses
me and disorients me
and sometimes
it is better to just go
with what I know
I am trying to trust this
despite the outside
telling me
to trust their process

peace

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